Unversed Cast: The Fanfiction
by SockBeatz
Summary: I don't even know what I was thinking. I just want this to be read on Uncle Mike's Fanfic Corner.


It was a blissful day, down in LazyTown. Flowers were blooming, birds were singing. Kids were playing, indulging in delicious sandwiches, all was swell. ... Until it happened. On this day came waddling in a fellow popularly known... as Haedox. Yes, waddling. For Haedox had grown to the point in his life where his inner penguin genetics were being unleashed... a stressful time for a young man such as himself. People stopped, even stared, and to them, he had only one thing to ask...

"Excuse me, have you played _Club Penguin_?"

Citizens were flabbergasted, DISTURBED, even! Through all this icy commotion came Mayor Milford Meanswell, mayor of LazyTown. "Oh my!" he exclaimed, "What, WHAT is it that you are asking about, sir?!" Haedox looked defeated, hopeless even. It was coming true. _Club Penguin_ was truly on its last legs. The awareness, the commercials, the pleas for people to NOT play the game without their parents' permission... it was coming to an end.

"Oh... it's just... a web browser game, where you get to personalize your... your penguin." Haedox sighed and looked towards the sky. "I traveled all this way, all this time, thinking that somewhere in the world, the _Club Penguin_ spirit was still alive."

Just then, a particular voice boomed from the distance; it was none other than KingK, also known as... Dan. "Haedox!" He seemed out of breath. The mayor ran back inside, fearing what may come. "Hae... H.. Hey, you need to just let it go, man. It's over. There are plenty of online games out there... Please, just come back."

"NEVER!" Haedox decreed. "You think I have motivation to continue rambling on Unversed Cast? There are more important things in life, Dan! If I don't pursue this, no one will. If I don't save Club Penguin... then... then... a part of me will die with it."

KingK let out a well-sounding sigh. "I didn't think my voice would be enough to bring you back. Which is why I brought..."

Quickly from the bushes emerged Ryan, formally known as The Ryan Sucks At Video Games. "Haedox, come back!" he was nearly bawling. "It isn't the same without you... There's no sarcastic jokes, no reminders of NX Rumors... It feels like those times you'd go away for dinnertime... except you never came back!" Ryan proceeded to cry a bit on KingK's shoulder. "Please, come back. I miss you more than I miss _Golden Sun_..."

Haedox's eyes widened. He looked at his feathery arms, then back at Ryan. Just as he opened his mouth and took a step forward, he felt a presence dash from behind him. It was... Alec Alger "The Side Quest Gamer!" Haedox turned around quickly, in shock, as Alec menacingly marched towards the Unversed Trio.

"Haedox, are you surely leaving the Unversed Cast? Why didn't you tell me sooner? It's been my prerogative from day one to be a part of the Unversed Cast." Alec said, having a dashing look in his eye. "The show can't go on without a fourth member... and it's too late to call the whole cast off. This is my time, my shot, and the best part is that you can finally pursue your own goals separately!" Haedox glanced at his former crew, then back at Alec (who was raising his eyebrows in suspense.) "I.. I'm not sure. Maybe I should go back..." Haedox pondered... "But... I also NEED to rally up enough people to protest. I need to save _Club Penguin_." Feeling overwhelmed, Haedox flapped his arms and called out. He shouted, and jumped, trying to get the attention of someone who could help him make the right choice! ... But no one came.

"Well, Haedox... here, I've got an idea." Alec looked towards Haedox and held out his arm, "I've brought a friend here with me today to encourage you to follow your dream... one who is also helping me pursue mine." Like magic, Eric Zander strutted in from behind Alec, lowering his shades to look at Haedox.

"Haedox, buddy, pal o' mine... I've come here today to lend you some of my charm, some of my skills, know what I mean?" Eric smirked.

"No... No, I don't. What could you do that could help me get _Club Penguin_ back on the map?" Haedox asked, determined to find the answer.

"Listen. I've got a lot of subscribers. A lot of people who I could very easily inform about your conundrum here. A lot of people who could join your cause. You'll be happy, Alec will earn his rightful role in the cast, and I'll get me some more friends. Deal?"

Haedox thought for a bit, looking to Ryan and KingK for validation. Despite their protest, Haedox shook Eric's hand anyway, "It's a deal. I need all the help I can get, no matter what it takes. This is my culture." Eric took his sacred hand back and laughed, and laughed... and laughed. Suddenly, as if by complete WITCHCRAFT, a blinding light flashed from Eric's mangina! Yes, his mangina that formed upon him hitting his pique annoyance levels against his brother, ExoParadigmGamer. "Haedox, you big dumb dummy head! Nobody plays that shit anymore! I just needed the touch of your flipper to complete Alec's master plan!" Eric obnoxiously cackled. "Alec's... plan? What are you talking about?" KingK spoke, trying to shield his eyes.

Alec raised his arms in a masterful fashion, "My plan to take my rightful place as KING of the Unversed Cast! Haedox shall enter the realm of Eric's Mangina, a realm of never-ending **SIDE QUESTS.** Then, Exo, Ryan, and KingK will have no choice but to do as I say, in hopes that Haedox will one day return!"Eric laughed once again, "And I'll gain Haedox's account information while he's away... giving me endless publicity! With his wit, editing skills, and critical thinking... I'll be able to trump anyone in my way. Even the Game Grumps!" Ryan wiped his tears away and charged after Eric, taking KingK with him... only for the trio to be transported to Eric's viscous regions unknown!

...

But, that's what would have happened... if they weren't saved by a mysterious, beautiful white stallion, who counteracted the weird magic of Eric's mangina! Indeed! The stallion looked sternly at Eric, who could only pull up his now-sagging pants. Alec was nowhere to be found after the light faded. Haedox got up and looked at he majestic horse, then put his left flipper on its mane. "Thank you... I'm not sure what just happened, but thank you!" he smiled. KingK rubbed his chin in deep thought. "Where might your master be?" Dan asked politely. Being a stallion, the answer could not be spoken... but rather, the creature used its neck to hoist Ryan up onto its back! Ryan gleefully patted it, and the group set out into the sunset. It was time, once and for all, to stop the bitter rivalry with The Side Quest Gamer!

Alec had made his way to one of the four headquarters of the Unversed Cast; he snuck into Exo's dorm room, ready to get his hands dirty! He was surprised to see that Exo was not even home... but his computer was. He sneakily tried EVERY password he could think of, for hours, hours! His plan with Eric may have failed... but if he had the information, he'd have the power. Unfortunately, it was too late. Somehow, the white stallion stampeded through the college campus, aware of Alec's location. Ryan hopped off, and together, the three members of the Unversed Cast ran in and cornered Alec.

"Give it up, Alec!" KingK exclaimed!

"I can't give this up," Alec sighed, "This is my dream... over 100 reviews on my channel, constant Twitter shitposting, and what do I get? Only simple mentions! I just want to be one of the bois... right? Is that hard to ask?"

Haedox and the others paused. Maybe they COULD afford to have him every now and then... as long as he didn't bug them with too much obscure NES trivia. Abruptly, the stallion could be heard galloping down the hall of the dormitory, and soon slid into Exo's chamber.

"Alec... for fuck's sake, stuff like this is why you're not on the Unversed Cast!"

Could it be? The stallion... it was ExoParadigmGamer all along! Ryan dramatically held his arm to his forehead and dropped to the nearby beanbag chair in shock. KingK scratched his head, "What on earth happened to you, Mikey?" Exo turned his head to Dan and grumbled. "This is what happens when you spend too much time putting up with the bullshit 'King Eric.' I had to take over editing duties of ZBros Play AGAIN, and somehow, the-" Haedox began to laugh along with Alec, wanting to hear more about Exo's story.

The five began to have a chat, first detailing Michael's temporary transformation, then discussing a certain side quest Alec was reminded of as a result, soon learning about Ryan's love for horses in video games, even eventually getting onto one of those dang ol' Sonic rants. Haedox felt at home as the crew talked for hours... and Alec realized that maybe being a tyrannical overlord wasn't the way to get noticed after all. Exo realized that the group had been under recording the entire time, and decided to upload the podcast for the lols! Everything and everyone was happy in the end...

Later that night, in some far reaches of the world, a young man rested his fingers at his computer desk. Tired from writing an elongated joke of a fanfiction, he went downstairs and grabbed some Mountain Dew Voltage. Coming back up, he saw that a new episode of the Unversed Cast was awaiting him. He let out a sigh in both relief and contempt, realizing that he spent hours a plenty thinking up a ridiculous story based on four, five, possibly even six dudes who enjoy themselves some vidya gaems. Now that, my friends, is worth a swig of Voltage. Ready to have two more hours of his life fly by, he sat down, grabbed some popcorn, and threw off his black hoodie.


End file.
